That Thing Where I Do Stuff

Some of you might remember me blathering about a side project. This was ages ago, so if you don’t remember, don’t feel bad. Up until a couple weeks ago, I’d put it aside to the point where I’d nearly forgotten it too.

But now I’m sort of mid-process with my publisher about what the next steps are now that Ghost’s book is done, and while I’m killing time on my end of it, the side project has come to the fore once again.

And yes, it’s time for another story told almost exclusively in gifs.

This is what it feels like to go from three years of contracted work in which I know exactly what I’m working on, to having the time and freedom (and by freedom I mean anxiety) to work on whatever the hell I want. The problem is that I have many thoughts and feelings about this, and sometimes they all show up at the same time, and then my head is basically a hive full of drunk bees running around and bumping into each other and forgetting to make honey. And that's their job, people.

But the good feeling is like this:

And this:

And even occasionally this:

Although that one's usually followed by this: 

And then the anxiety makes me do this:

And then the drunk bees give me insomnia because I end up worrying about extreme scenarios that have little basis in reality but which seem very valid at three a.m.:

Which is usually when I play mobile games while watching five episodes of Charmed back-to-back, a television show which I am, at best, lukewarm about but have seen the first four seasons of at least three times. I tend to tune out half the dialogue when I'm watching Charmed, but that doesn't stop me from starting another episode. I know. I don't understand it either. 

This isn't a gif from Charmed. This is a gif from a far superior show, which I am not watching because I don't want to get insomnia all over it. 

But the idealist in me says that all this drama is the result of uncertainty, and not actually a sign that the side project is bad. Even my husband agrees. I let him read the first part and expected him to make that wincing face that people who like you make when they know they have to tell you how garbage you are. Instead I got this from him: 

Also, Arthur/Eames is my ride or die OTP because they are perfect. Fight me on it, I don't care. You'll just get wronger.

Which left me here:

It's because of moments like this that I would get into flame wars for them. Look at Arthur's bitch face when Eames flirts with him by showing him big guns. I firmly believe that this dynamic is at the heart of every great romance. This is literally the plot of Pride and Prejudice. Okay, not literally. But mouthy people who flirt by arguing is my jam. You may have noticed. That's the basis of every single one of my books. 

I had an ending in mind for this blog post, but then I started thinking about Inception, and now I don't wanna blog anymore. So I'm gonna end this here and go watch a movie that I've already seen 476,008 times. Later, tater.